Xaos - Chaos Magick

Just the other day, I turned down a pot load of money. It hurt to do so, as people say there are “so few opportunities” out there. Opportunities don’t normally knock on your door - you have to go hunting for them.

Opportunity knocked; declining was hard. I wondered if the UniCreatrix would ever forgive me. I wondered if my karma would be burnt up:

“Oh that’s fine, turn your nose up and walk away, no that’s fine, your choice - just don’t expect any more help yada yada yada.”

That sort of thing.

The opportunity has come a-knockin’ again. I’m whelmed, overwhelmed even. Thankfully, I have time to reflect. Opportunities must be welcomed (grabbed with both hands) but they must be appropriate and relevant.

Anonymous asked: What is the craziest, most powerful ritual you have done? What happened?

I might have been involved in somewhat bizarre rituals and some crazy make-believe; I might have taken certain actions because I’ve randomly chosen to believe something that I decided to be true. Following beliefs to their breaking point has been crazy for me, and has had me sincerely acting crazy in front of people.

I guess you’re asking if I’ve done anything mind-bendingly off the wall in order to induce or create a results. I’ve done things that make no sense to others, and I’ve experienced things that can’t be expressed to others, without sounding insane and churlish and childish.

But all of that is just pantomime and garnish.

The most powerful ritual I ever performed was done in ignorance, with the ‘recipe’ style magick book in my left hand, a black candle burning late into the night and my wand ‘ahem’ in my right hand. I believed I was calling up my destiny, spending all my karma, demanding my rightful place in the world. That night I put myself on the path of greatness, and I slept fitfully, dreaming of the new world order I would take command of come the morn.

The next day, my bank account was still empty and I was still eating bread and cheese for every lunch. The next month, I was still struggling to pay the rent, and I continued to feel like a klutz around people and still had trouble ‘being me’.

Years later, I realise that was the most powerful ritual; even though it was egotistical, even though it was childish and desperate, it was honest. These days I have a place in the world; I battle with ‘being me’ but I do have a solid place in the world - a foundation that my childhood lacked.

Anonymous asked: Why do you use the name Xaos? I have used that nickname for about 20 years and I do not intend on stopping. 2 things.. why do you use it? and 2, do you even know what it means or how its pronounced? xaospro@yahoo.com

Anonymous asked me this, and provided their email address, which I don’t know how to delete.

So here’s my answer:

Why? Because I’m a Chaos Magickian of sorts, and the words ‘Chaos’, ‘Kaos’, ‘Khaos’, ‘Xaos’ are oft used within and around the Chaos Magick ‘community’. Available domains are sparse; I was pleased to purchase xaos.org.uk recently.

Twenty years? That’s awesome for you.

Do I even know what it means and how to pronounce it? Why yes, I even know what it means:

• In Azerbaijini Xaos literally means chaos;
• Greek meaning: ‘gaping void’, the primeval state of existence from which the first gods appeared - primal void or Abyss from which creation sprung.

In truth, I read Hesiod’s Theogony and knew χάος was a good solid word.

For me, it’s about stochastic synchronicity and acausal systems. Chaos Theory as well as Chaos Magick Theory.

Pronunciation is a cultural matter; as such, for me it’s fluid and relative. I could tell people how I pronounce Xaos / χάος, but where would the benefit be? In Chaos Magick, “nothing is true; all is permitted”.