Xaos - Chaos Magick

I love you… I love you. And not in a friendly way - although I think we’re great friends - and not in a misplaced affection, puppy dog way - although I’m sure that’s what you’ll call it. I love you… very, very simple. Very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and me crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it.

I just… I can’t take this anymore. I can’t stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can’t look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can’t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship… But I had to say it. Because I’ve never felt this way before.

And I don’t care… I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can’t hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I couldn’t allow another day to go by without getting this out there, regardless of the outcome. Which, by the look on your face, is to be the inevitable shootdown. And y’know, I’ll accept that. But I know - I know - that some part of you is hesitating for a moment. And if there’s a moment of hesitation, that means you feel something too. And all I ask - please - is that you just not dismiss that, and try to dwell in it, for just ten seconds.

…There isn’t another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I’m with you. And I would risk this friendship for the chance to take this to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me; you can’t deny that.

Even if, you know… Even if we never talk again after tonight. Please know, that I am forever changed, because of who you are and what you’ve meant to me.

— Holden, Chasing Amy (via chrisfox)