Xaos - Chaos Magick

"If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is mended, That you have but slumber’d..."

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 09:01:51 +0000

“If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is mended, That you have but slumber’d here While these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, No more yielding but a dream, Gentles, do not reprehend; if you pardon, we will mend. And, as I am an honest Puck, If we have unearned luck Now to ‘scape the serpent’s tongue, We will make amends ere long; Else the Puck a liar call; So, good night unto you all. Give me your hands, if we be friends, And Robin shall restore amends.”

- A Midsummer Night’s Dream. William S.

Young light

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 21:35:59 +0000

I am a young child. I’m almost alone in my room. I don’t know why I’ve been sent here but they say I’m bad. The curtains are closed but it’s still light outside and the room is filled with a pink glow. The sheets on my bed are purple. I like the purple ones. I have more control when the sheets are purple. The yellow ones don’t work as well. She chose the yellow ones.

I call the light to me, shape it, colour it into beautiful swirls. There’s a gap in the top of the curtains where they haven’t been closed properly. I send one of the little swirls of light energy up to close the gap. It dances playfully before doing as instructed and I laugh at its playfulness.

I’m sure he’s here with me. I can feel him now. I’ve been anticipating his arrival for a long time. I can’t see him and he doesn’t know I’m here, but he will. One day.

Now she’s here too. The one with the wings. The one I can see. I look up at her. She isn’t touched by the pink glow. She is in my room and yet not. I know she’s not in this world. She’s in my world. The other one. The one from before. My colourful lights swirl around her, excited.

“He’s here.” I tell her.

“Not yet, but almost.” She replies warmly. “Be patient little flower.”

“Will he know me?” I ask hopefully.

She looks at me for a while and I stare back at her as she answers. “One day he will.”

“How long?” I ask, my youthfulness failing to hide my impatience.

“Too long for you to imagine, but no time at all.”

I don’t ask any more questions. I know she wants to leave now.

“Will you be back?” I add quickly as she begins to fade.

“I’m never gone little flower” she replied.

My only memories

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 08:50:08 +0000

Memory is a constructive process; it is not a movie play back. For instance, everytime you ‘see yourself’ in a memory, that’s a reconstuction of events.

I have only a few strong memories. I share them with you to release their importance. They’re too heavy to carry alone.

-—-

I am in my first family home. I’m making plasticine vegetables with Granma and Grandad.

I am looking at our tortoises on the swirling lounge carpet.

I am (over) feeding the goldfish.

I have just banged my head on the rough brick over-hang of our house. I am crying. (This is a reconstruction; there was no over-hang and I can ‘see myself’ crying.)

I am in our shared bedroom; one of my brothers pops his head round the door, perhaps to tell me something, perhaps looking for someone else. His head kaliedoscopes into the heads of my other family members, wheeling round and round in a whirl of colours.

I’m looking up at my mother as a crawl in the dirt. I am crying. My arm is broken. She will scoop me up.

My hands leave clean prints on the boot of my father’s car as I ‘push him off’. I’m holding back tears and smiling as he gets up to speed, but they spill out and I’m left weeping in the exhaust fumes.

I am last to leave playschool. Dad’s coming late. The manager takes me home; she has a great many soft toys.

I peek into the kitchen. My father is towering over my slumped mother. He is angry, she is crying. He tells me to get out. I return to the television where my older brother is clearly upset, but focussing on the screen. I watch TV.

My Grandparents are not allowed in the kitchen as I string scores of my potato print artworks up. The show is a huge success, but I vow to move away from vegetables.

I am making grass seed potions in the sun out the back yard.

The boy across the road says we DO come from apes. I say we don’t have a tail, he says we do, and intimates his crotch. I become incredibly British, but begin to understand Carry On films…

The girl who shares my Grandma’s name is afraid of thunder. I’m excited by the storm. I want to comfort her, but she’s a ‘naughty girl’ and I don’t know how to talk to them.

The boy next door is peeing in his garden. I worry he’ll be arrested or go to hell; but apparantly as he’s so young it’s alright.

I start school alone. I don’t know why. I am introduced to the class, sat next to the teacher.

I’m angry at the older sisters who pretend to be my friend but only so they can tease me. I decide to end our friendship and I punctuate my ‘goodbye’ by batting a stone. The stone (possibly) breaks a greenhouse window and their father (possibly) shakes his fist at me, like in cartoons. I am guilt ridden for days, weeks, months and years. I feel too awful to ask G~d for forgiveness, I only talk to H~m about H~s stuff, not my stuff.

The boy’s father(?) has given me a pigeon egg to care for. I am to keep it warm. Cruelly impossible back then in those days. I cry. He offers me a fresh egg, maybe this one will hatch. I decline. I’m a killer, I can’t be trusted.

I am playing with my teddies and the Ghost Buster HQ I have made them. The Proton Packs are OK because they are not guns.

I am looking at the sword the boy gave me. It is made out of pegs. It’s lent up against the wall and is only slightly bowed. I have willingly given up the weapon. Why play with killing weapons? Swords will be bent into ploughshears [whatever they are] and I don’t want to disappoint G~d. I stare at the component pegs. I want to hold the sword and swing it around.

A terrible nightmare wakes me with a swallowed scream. My left leg is numb from ‘the touch’. Repeats of the same experience cause my Granma to read from the Bible, leaving it open by my bed. Angels watch over me. But they must then watch my night terrors.

I have a plastic ET pencil case from my mother. We have just seen ET (possibly).

-—-

More memories than I expected, and so I end this exercise for fear of boring you.

devilinherheartt: -christine: edgeofdesiire: elle-girl: (via...

Sat, 06 Mar 2010 18:38:37 +0000

devilinherheartt:

-christine:

edgeofdesiire:

elle-girl:

(via xhannahkatiex)

LifeSIGNS: Self-Injury Awareness Day & 'promoting SI'...

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 15:58:52 +0000

LifeSIGNS: Self-Injury Awareness Day & 'promoting SI'...:

LifeSIGNS / FirstSigns said:

On this day of all days, we wanted to say ‘hi’ and mention a few things to you.

It’s Self-Injury Awareness Day - yay! Every 1st of March for years now (over a decade easily) people have chosen to raise awareness and talk about self-injury through February up to today.

If you’re not sure what…

"Isn’t sanity just a one trick pony anyway? I mean, all you get is one trick. Rational thinking. But..."

Mon, 22 Feb 2010 07:25:20 +0000

“Isn’t sanity just a one trick pony anyway? I mean, all you get is one trick. Rational thinking. But when you’re good and crazy, Oooo, Oooo, Oooo, the sky’s the limit!”

- The Tick (via chansen)

"I love you… I love you. And not in a friendly way - although I think we’re great friends - and not..."

Sun, 21 Feb 2010 10:15:38 +0000

“

I love you… I love you. And not in a friendly way - although I think we’re great friends - and not in a misplaced affection, puppy dog way - although I’m sure that’s what you’ll call it. I love you… very, very simple. Very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and me crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it.

I just… I can’t take this anymore. I can’t stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can’t look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can’t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship… But I had to say it. Because I’ve never felt this way before.

And I don’t care… I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can’t hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I couldn’t allow another day to go by without getting this out there, regardless of the outcome. Which, by the look on your face, is to be the inevitable shootdown. And y’know, I’ll accept that. But I know - I know - that some part of you is hesitating for a moment. And if there’s a moment of hesitation, that means you feel something too. And all I ask - please - is that you just not dismiss that, and try to dwell in it, for just ten seconds.

…There isn’t another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I’m with you. And I would risk this friendship for the chance to take this to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me; you can’t deny that.

Even if, you know… Even if we never talk again after tonight. Please know, that I am forever changed, because of who you are and what you’ve meant to me.

”

- Holden, Chasing Amy (via chrisfox)

"In Africa we have a word Ubuntu, which is difficult to render in Western languages. It speaks about..."

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 07:43:44 +0000

““In Africa we have a word Ubuntu, which is difficult to render in Western languages. It speaks about the essence of being human: that my humanity is caught up in your humanity because we say a person is a person through other persons. I am a person because I belong. The same is true for you. The solitary person human being is a contradiction in terms. .. No one can be fully human unless he or she relates to others in a fair, peaceful, and harmonious way.””

- Desmond Tutu
(foreword to ‘Exploring Forgiveness’ by Enright & North) (via rainbowpromise)

Witchcraft Collection - Cornell University Library

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 08:35:47 +0000

http://digital.library.cornell.edu/w/witch/index.html

The Cornell University Library Witchcraft Collection is an online selecton of titles from the Cornell University Library’s extensive collection of materials on Witchcraft. The Witchcraft Collection is a rich source for students and scholars of the history of superstition and witchcraft persecution in Europe. It documents the earliest and the latest manifestations of the belief in witchcraft as well as its geographical boundaries, and elaborates this history with works on canon law, the Inquisition, torture, demonology, trial testimony, and narratives. Most importantly, the collection focuses on witchcraft not as folklore or anthropology, but as theology and as religious heresy.

These titles were originally digitally scanned from microfilm by Primary Source Microfilm and the images were returned to Cornell University. For more information, please visit the About page.

Current Online Holdings

104 monographs
23,220 pages

Putting the B back in LGBT

Tue, 16 Feb 2010 21:08:25 +0000

Putting the B back in LGBT:

yaldabaoth:

jasencomstock:

yaldabaoth:

thestohs:

sexismandthecity:

Bisexuals are supposed to be equally attracted to men and women – always androgyny, but never to trans people – and always at the same time. They supposedly need to have identical amounts of sex with both, and don’t notice the differences between them (which might get painful in bed, I reckon). We’re all told bisexuality is a phase that everyone goes through and grows out of, and no one’s a “proper” bisexual, even though “everyone’s bisexual really”. Bisexuals are depicted as the monsters spreading Aids, and breaking the hearts of partners inevitably cast aside for a different gender. Who’d want to be bi!

Oddly, the only people not confused about bisexuality are the bisexuals themselves, with groups like The Bisexual Index advocating a clearer definition – they simply suggest anyone who is attracted to more than one gender should consider identifying as bi. It’s not about amount of attraction either, just as simply preferring lettuce to liver doesn’t make you a vegan.

I always thought the B’s had a hard time fitting in with the LG’s because of the notion that they were attracted to both sexes made them sound like they had and wanted to have multiple sex partners at all times- Something the LG’s have insisted to the S’s that they would not have to tolerate as part of marriage equality.

Hmm, which is scarier: me married to my bf, or a bisexual married to a woman — who could strike at any time straight guys!

It probably goes back to the puritan notions of sexual identity, that the second one person dares to step to the same sex side of things, they are suddenly some complete deviant freak because homos only want to have sex all the time. You know, because there’s no monogamy on the gay side of things. Only straight couples believe in it. We couldn’t possibly be enamored with a person in particular - only the idea of what those pants are hiding and what we could do if they were off. It’s funny that bi is so little understood on either side. I prefer girls, I’ve been with guys. The future I will likely end up with a woman but could end up with a guy. I don’t feel like I should be negatively defined by this, or that any partner should feel disingenuine towards them because of any supposed orientation thing. Also, I’m not faking it, it’s not for performance and I don’t plan on choosing an absolute side, unless you count ending up with someone I love “choosing a side.”

yaldabaoth: thetardis: jocelynseip: i want to see john...

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 15:47:38 +0000

yaldabaoth:

thetardis:

jocelynseip:

i want to see john barrowman in those clothes in real life
SO I CAN MURDER HIM

Oh man, I love Eve Myles’ dress tho.

Dammit, Captain Jack.

Heart erasers for valentine's

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 15:34:31 +0000

originalerasers:

http://twitpic.com/136g6y - Heart erasers for Valentine’s day!

vancam: Zohar explaining the difference between Project Phases...

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 16:13:58 +0000

vancam:

Zohar explaining the difference between Project Phases and Stages today. I Got Told.

yaldabaoth: (via bobalgreene) This is my day so far.

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 16:12:30 +0000

yaldabaoth:

(via bobalgreene)

This is my day so far.

The Universe is finite; Nothing is infinite

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 08:31:27 +0000

The title of this article is ambiguous, because I wish to discuss ‘nothing’ and how it is indeed infinite.

Our Universe is expanding and it is inflating. There’s a finite amount of matter and a growing amount of space.

I’m told the Universe is 13.5 to 14 billion years old. It started very small, it got big very quickly, and is still expanding and cooling. Fourteen billion sounds like a long time (it is) and a big number (it isn’t).

Some people say the Universe is infinite, or else what could it be expanding into? Well, the Universe is made of matter and energy. If an atom of matter (or dark matter, or anti-matter) finds itself approaching the edge of the Universe, we might imagine it crossing over the boundary from the Universe into ‘outside the Universe’. Not true. By definition the Universe is made of matter and energy so our intrepid atom simply extends the Universe as part of the usual expansion. Wherever there is matter or energy you are inside the Universe; ‘you’ can’t go ‘outside’ the Universe as if you did you would simply extend it.

So what are we expanding into? Nothing. And the nothing truly is infinite and boundless. If you think I’m talking about ‘empty space’ then we’re having different conversations. Space is chock full of stuff. It makes up the material Universe. Nothing is a total absence, and therefore it has no recordable or measurable or even dabateable qualities and so I dub it a concept. Yep, I made a decision. The nothing into which our Universe is demonstrably expanding into is a mathematical concept. Not a place. A concept.

I refer you to the QBL and the Ain, the Ain Soph and the Ain Soph Aur. Three levels of ‘nothingness’ or ‘potential’ that encapsulated the Tree of Life and bounds the Ten Sephorith and Four Worlds. I now just need to reflect on why our studious Jewish friends felt there were three Ains!

Bowing for the Win

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 21:38:32 +0000

Bowing for the Win:

Please consult with your doctor before attempting this, or any other exercise.

This is a blog post about prostration as a means of manifesting anything you want. Prostration must begin as something…

Biographies of magickal movers and shakers - Phil Hine

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Phil Hine is one of the more well known exponents of Chaos Magick. After becoming involved with Chaos groups in West Yorkshire during the 1980s he went on to publish a series of booklets on Urban Shamanism and subsequently Prime Chaos, Condensed Chaos and The Pseudonomicon. Condensed Chaos is a fully expanded version of his first booklet on Chaos Magick, now titled Oven-Ready Chaos.

Favoured for his practical and accessible approach to Magick, Phil Hine draws inspiration not only from ‘classic’ magick figures such as Aleister Crowley, but also from literary sources such as William Burroughs, who described Hine’s Condensed Chaos as “the most concise statement of the logic of modern magic”.

Hine is a former contributor and editor of Chaos International, and a founder and co-editor of Pagan News. Openly bisexual, he has written several articles on sexuality and gender within occultism and magick.

http://enfolding.org/

http://www.philhine.org.uk/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phil_Hine

http://dreamflesh.com/interviews/philhine/

From: http://chaosbooks.co.uk/biographies/

The Black Sheep

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 21:43:26 +0000

The Black Sheep:

About a year ago I wrote an article on my experiences with fundamental or Born Again evangelical Christianity, Causing outrage and applause from everyone who read it. Its been awhile since…

Lupo’s Broadsheet:II Wonder’s Never Cease

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 11:38:02 +0000

Lupo’s Broadsheet:II Wonder’s Never Cease:

Alice is a lively girl, living in a lively world. The only worries are those her own mind projects upon the dreamscape that is inhabited by the Cheshire Cat. The dear old girl must have a lively…

Lupo’s BroadSheet’s: I A Magickal Formula

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 11:38:02 +0000

Lupo’s BroadSheet’s: I A Magickal Formula:

The only sin in our age is restriction. Our society restrains itself in fetters crafted by the media, society, and religion. I ask you how to free yourself from these fetters. Even the fetters that…